Go Ahead, Deny Yourself
I am 34 weeks now. I no longer feel like I am part of a family of four any longer. Days are more tiring, more involved, due to pregnancy side effects and lack of sleep. A rooster crows every morning behind our fence at 6:00am. We've never met the owner. Not quite sure of the legality. Anyways, I hated it for waking me for days now. Yet today, I embraced the alarm knowing it's simply preparing me for life with three small ones.
I have altered my prayer routine in the morning, which has had some truly inspiring effects. During this pregnancy I have probably prayed more, specifically more novenas, than I have ever before. The last one I completed was dedicated specifically to the baby and for life in general. I recognize now more than ever before that if my day does not begin with mindfulness and dedication, the rest of the day follows a more selfish and ultimately anxious path.
"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life, will loose it, but whoever looses himself for my sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
So many people advise me, have advised you, "don't worry. don't sweat the small stuff." You have undoubtably heard these phrases on and off throughout your life. Most of the time the people who offer console with such phrases, are those who are preoccupied and anxious themselves. These phrases are often muttered without much thought, and recognized without much understanding.
It's not all too often you meet someone who talks the talk AND walks the walk. My mother-in-law, Kathleen, came to visit this week, along with Ben's great aunt. Kathleen is one of those rare persons, who says what they mean and serves without measure. She is the mother of ten, business owner, and at one time home-school teacher. As you can imagine, she is practically unflappable.
As the day came to a close yesterday, she came to me and said, "I need more to do." She meant it. She always says things like that or "don't hesitate" or "I'd be more than willing." It's not that hard to understand why Kath is the way she is. She is the selfless, faithful person she is because she has had the experience of denying her self, her needs, over, and over, and over and over...She multiplied the love of Christ ten times over, not including her three miscarriages. She takes up her crosses with ease. She embraces challenge. She looses herself in service, in love. I'm fortunate to have her as a mother-in-law and role model.
Not all of us have the will, nor the courage to raise a large family. By today's standards, anything bigger than two persons is considered "large." When you lay down your ego for others, beautiful, revelatory, things happen. I've noticed my own ego, slipping away over the past few weeks, as I prepare for the future of increased demands and decreased comforts. I am no longer as preoccupied with my personal needs as I once was. I am also no longer as anxious about the future. With political turmoil and environmental devastation a part of every day news, many would argue this is one of the worst times to bring life into the world. While I agree that our world is becoming an ever more combative, narcissistic, power-driven place, there is never a bad time to approach life. Life gives us hope. Where would I be without my parents? My mother-in-law? My husband? My kids? More importantly, who would I be.
I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is I look at my picture of the Divine Mercy Jesus and I say, "Lord help me to deny myself, take up my cross and follow you." I acknowledge today more than ever, that if my life, my relationships, my day begins with faith, I ultimately have what I need to embrace the next step. When you deny yourself, you are giving yourself the gift of true peace, contentment. You are acknowledging your place in the universe and you are accepting what is. The gift of peace truly surpasses all understanding.
I have altered my prayer routine in the morning, which has had some truly inspiring effects. During this pregnancy I have probably prayed more, specifically more novenas, than I have ever before. The last one I completed was dedicated specifically to the baby and for life in general. I recognize now more than ever before that if my day does not begin with mindfulness and dedication, the rest of the day follows a more selfish and ultimately anxious path.
"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life, will loose it, but whoever looses himself for my sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
So many people advise me, have advised you, "don't worry. don't sweat the small stuff." You have undoubtably heard these phrases on and off throughout your life. Most of the time the people who offer console with such phrases, are those who are preoccupied and anxious themselves. These phrases are often muttered without much thought, and recognized without much understanding.
It's not all too often you meet someone who talks the talk AND walks the walk. My mother-in-law, Kathleen, came to visit this week, along with Ben's great aunt. Kathleen is one of those rare persons, who says what they mean and serves without measure. She is the mother of ten, business owner, and at one time home-school teacher. As you can imagine, she is practically unflappable.
As the day came to a close yesterday, she came to me and said, "I need more to do." She meant it. She always says things like that or "don't hesitate" or "I'd be more than willing." It's not that hard to understand why Kath is the way she is. She is the selfless, faithful person she is because she has had the experience of denying her self, her needs, over, and over, and over and over...She multiplied the love of Christ ten times over, not including her three miscarriages. She takes up her crosses with ease. She embraces challenge. She looses herself in service, in love. I'm fortunate to have her as a mother-in-law and role model.
Not all of us have the will, nor the courage to raise a large family. By today's standards, anything bigger than two persons is considered "large." When you lay down your ego for others, beautiful, revelatory, things happen. I've noticed my own ego, slipping away over the past few weeks, as I prepare for the future of increased demands and decreased comforts. I am no longer as preoccupied with my personal needs as I once was. I am also no longer as anxious about the future. With political turmoil and environmental devastation a part of every day news, many would argue this is one of the worst times to bring life into the world. While I agree that our world is becoming an ever more combative, narcissistic, power-driven place, there is never a bad time to approach life. Life gives us hope. Where would I be without my parents? My mother-in-law? My husband? My kids? More importantly, who would I be.
I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is I look at my picture of the Divine Mercy Jesus and I say, "Lord help me to deny myself, take up my cross and follow you." I acknowledge today more than ever, that if my life, my relationships, my day begins with faith, I ultimately have what I need to embrace the next step. When you deny yourself, you are giving yourself the gift of true peace, contentment. You are acknowledging your place in the universe and you are accepting what is. The gift of peace truly surpasses all understanding.
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