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It Would Have Been Enough...

My Anniversary Dayenu It would have been enough when He introduced us as friends 15 years ago. It would have been enough when you taught me about self-love. It would have been enough to enjoy each others' families and friends all these years. It would've been enough to have your support during anxiety, depression and mania. It would have been enough to celebrate high school, college and graduate school graduation together. It would have been enough to travel the world together: across the U.S., Italy, Germany It would have been enough to be married on October 6, 2012. It would have been enough to welcome our healthy first born together on December 15, 2013. It would have been enough to welcome job opportunities together. It would have been enough to welcome our healthy second child together on August 5, 2016. It would have been enough to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the coronation of the Jankovich-Besan family in Budapest with family from all over th
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The Good Life is a Dance

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"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."-Matthew 5:3 What does it mean to be spiritually depleted? Being poor in spirit means that you have absolutely nothing of worth to offer God. Salvation is by grace through works of  faith , not of works alone. Thus, you should work to live, not live to work. Or so the saying goes, right? Don't allow your personal ambitions and passions to overshadow or worse yet eclipse your marriage and family. Whom are you aiming to please? Now watch this video. Do you feel any different? I did. Ben did. Got Questions Ministries in combination with this video and Christine's preschool teacher, gave me a new perspective on motherhood vs. profession. Your profession will never satisfy you in the same way people do. Family dynamic is the only thing you get to truly create from the inside out. And the purest form of joy will always be the love you have for your child. So have faith in this mome
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His Mercy is More

I took a break from social media before the birth of our third daughter, Kari Elise. Kari entered the world on November 7th. She was a healthy 7lbs 8.5oz. She had a mystifying presence, as we both anticipated her to be a he. I was dumbfounded, really. Her eyes were wide and narrow, so much so Ben referred to her as "alien baby" for a time. She has a beauty all her own. Kari takes after her sisters as she is yet another reliable sleeper. She began smiling her second day of life and hasn't stopped since. The girls love her. We were blessed with an unprecedented amount of support and compassion from family and friends from delivery onward. Ben's office surprised us with breakfast, lunch and dinner the weekend following delivery. Simultaneously a meal train started with friends from our parish. This meal train continued for two weeks. Between the meal train and the Thanksgiving feast my mom hosted at our house later that month we had enough food for at last four weeks.
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The Attention Economy

As anxiety rates continue to rise over the decades one often wonders considering the events of the past, i.e. The Great Depression, WWII, The Civil Rights Era, etc., how is it that people are more anxious than ever before? There are some basic hypothesis out there including, the global economy, cost of living, breakdown of the family unit, general uncertainty, overconfidence and overstimulation. You may be surprised to learn that despite the constant media barrage of violence and terror, that both gun violence and terrorism in U.S. are on the decline. "Terrorism killed more Westerners in the 1970s and 1980s. Although terrorist-relared deaths are on the rise in the West, the numbers are small and globally, deaths from terrorism are on the decline" (Sanger-Katz, 2016). Gun violence has been on the decline since the 1990s. Although there has been an increase in mass shootings nationwide, fewer Americans are dying from firearm homicides (Ehrenfreund, 2015).  I am convinced Am
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Go Ahead, Deny Yourself

I am 34 weeks now. I no longer feel like I am part of a family of four any longer. Days are more tiring, more involved, due to pregnancy side effects and lack of sleep. A rooster crows every morning behind our fence at 6:00am. We've never met the owner. Not quite sure of the legality. Anyways, I hated it for waking me for days now. Yet today, I embraced the alarm knowing it's simply preparing me for life with three small ones. I have altered my prayer routine in the morning, which has had some truly inspiring effects.   During this pregnancy I have probably prayed more, specifically more novenas, than I have ever before. The last one I completed was dedicated specifically to the baby and for life in general. I recognize now more than ever before that if my day does not begin with mindfulness and dedication, the rest of the day follows a more selfish and ultimately anxious path.  "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. F
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To Truly Prepare

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice , holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. ROM 12: 1-2 This was the second reading from last week's liturgy. We ended up attending the noon mass at Christ the Good Shepard. Before leaving the house, we were unaware of the fact that the noon time slot is a Spanish celebration. It didn't matter. Spanish or English, the mass progression of events is ever recognizable. I had access to Sunday's readings from my iPhone. And as I read over the liturgy of the word, I was struck by this particular reading which was perfectly strung between the first reading and the gospel. So much is at stake these days. According to USA Today, by July of this year the U.S. had experienced 49 separat
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Family Balance is BS

I've read the baby books and blogs. I've lived them now. Being a woman, a libra and living with fluid moods drives me to reflect on the notion of balance more often than not. As my third pregnancy winds down, I am doing my best to delegate and prepare and plan for life with five people in the house. There are several areas which need to be addressed before baby number 3 arrives. Most importantly, bedtimes, feeding schedules and maintaining personal time. We are making headway in all three areas. However, there are still days where I look to the future and shake my head thinking, how is this going to work? What does balance look like with multiple young children? Is balance achieveable? Amelia is still bottle feeding three, sometimes four times a day (in addition to solids). She is still a VERY hungry girl. She is also about to walk any day now. And she really likes pulling up on the oven door! We already went through two different oven baby proofing products, with minimal s
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